Saturday, 5 March 2011

The Good the Bad and the Swedish

This week has divided itself up quite dramatically.  There has been good, there has been bad and there will be Swedish.  Let me elaborate.

Today is Saturday, a day when (by rights) I should be putting my feet up and recovering from the week. (GOOD).  But No.  For I am a mother and a mother's place is a) in the wrong and b) behind the wheel and I am going to be driving to the loveliness that is Wembley tonight to escort* my darling daughter and her best friend to the X Factor Tour.  This is BAD.

*(Well, when I say escort, I mean turf them out of a moving car somewhere near the Arena and bugger off sharpish.)

The arrangements were only finalised this morning and, up until then, the Shah was wearing the smug expression of one who thinks he is Off The Hook.  Ha ha!  Silly Shah!

He has already announced earlier in the week that he will be playing Hockey miles away up the M40 so, oh dear, he won't get back in time to accompany me to North London.  So I suggest that he might like to come and join me there as the A40 goes practically past the front door of Wembley Arena.  He agrees readily and I know why.  Wembley is full of curry houses and the Shah (who always has one if not both eyes on his stomach) is anticipating a nice nosebagging experience whilst the girls are busy listening to 

One Direction *scream* 

Aiden Grimshaw *shriek* 

and er, Wagner *silence*.

So, where shall I meet you? he asks all innocent, the poor sap.  This is when I deliver my killer blow with two words.


The resulting howl of "I've been done up like a kipper!" emitted by the Shah could probably be heard in Wembley but he is now in the horns of a dilemma.  He could "forget" and go straight home from the match.  However, this would be a risky strategy on many fronts:-

1.  He would incur my wrath and 'vengeance will be mine' sayeth the wife.
2.  He would have to cook for himself.  Too lazy.
3.  He would have zero control over how much money I am spending in Ikea and the resulting stress would ruin his evening.

So this is GOOD.

If there is anything exciting to report from our excursion I will do so tomorrow.

God Almighty - is this what my life has come to?  I have to look forward to wasting a couple of hours on an enforced visit to a Swedish Emporium and dangle that as a carrot to entice my readership.....*sigh*   Sorry.


  1. Oh God, having just done the Saturdays, I also have to do the X Factor Tour, although like you it will consist of slowing down enough to push them out of the car without risk of injury followed by a nice lunch with friends somewhere. Hope IKEA wasn't too traumatic.

  2. Ah no the secret is you make sure your small people like the same music as you ;)
    Well it worked with my eldest but unfortunately not so much with the youngest - we're off to see McFly later this month, could be worse I suppose LOL

  3. Oh my oldest 2 and I share the same musical taste, but the BBD went to see Justin Beiber on Friday night, I think I'll need therapy.

    ps I think it's lovely you and the Shah still go on dates together, I hear Ikea is wonderfully romantic this time of year

  4. WG - it was a 'mare. Only one more year before she can learn to drive and I will be off the hook (but still worrying of course :(

  5. Taz - having just read your latest post, it looks like we had a similar Saturday night experience! Mind you, I would draw the line at McFly....

  6. Auntie - yes fish & chips in Ikea is as about as romantic as it gets after 21 years of marriage!

  7. I think I'd rather have had your Ikea night :)


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