Sunday, 13 March 2011

Coming live from your roving reporter

Stand by your beds, faithful readers and students of Shahism (as opposed to Shamanism which is another discipline altogether) and prepare to feast your eyes.  The Shah is about to make his pictorial d├ębut on my humble bloggette.  Allow me to explain...

The way DIY works in our house normally goes something like this:-
I have a bright (DIY) idea.
I transmit this bright (DIY) idea to the Shah.
The Shah rolls his eyes and sighs heavily.
Several days or weeks later, I remind the Shah about the DIY.
The Shah rolls his eyes, sighs heavily and goes back to whatever it was he was doing.  Nothing, usually.
Several days or weeks later, I remind the Shah about the DIY again.  I am aware that my voice is taking on a slightly whiny tone.
The Shah rolls his eyes, sighs heavily and mentions the 'n' word.  No not that one - Nagging.  Then just to be sure, he feigns physical injury (known as "ooh me back, ooh me legs" etc)
I whine a bit more. And nag.  And nag.
Ultimately, the Shah flies into a rage and careers into the garage, emerging with a fistful of rusty nails and a bent screwdriver.  He then attacks the DIY project in the manner of a bull in a Denby shop and wonders why a) it all goes horribly wrong and b) the whole family is laughing hysterically.

Right now, the Shah is doing something useful.  He is attempting to reconfigure TD's desk and "study" area.  I use the inverted commas advisedly - if there is a GCSE in YouTube makeup videos, she will get 10 A*s.

However, the Shah is being a good dad and is currently trying to make one table the same height as another by virtue of its lovely, telescopic Ikea legs (you see, Swedish Superstore, you have your uses).  It is not going well.  It goes a hell of a lot worse when the Shah first of all bangs his head hard and then gets stuck under the table, rearing up with it on his back like a giant turtle with a white Ikea shell.

Alerted by the sound effects and language most foul, TD and I go to investigate his distress.  Unfortunately, our solidarity is mistaken for hilarity and the Shah waves at us like this:-

Possibly he means that he will only be another two minutes?


  1. 2 sugars maybe?
    Or I love you 2?


    Awww bless him, least he tries xx

  2. Trying? Oh yes, he's that all right....

  3. Aaah.....they are so endearing when they are trying to do the diy thing don't you think?..I like the bit when they say 'well this is obviously the wrong screw/this bit is faulty...'

  4. Unless I'm mistaken, that's actually a mystical Shahist gesture meaning "I am at one with the furniture assembly, but thank you for your concern".

  5. Hi Libby and thank you for popping over to Every Silver Lining. The Shah tries those tactics on a regular basis, however I am now wise to every little game he plays and can head him off at the pass with ease!

  6. Andy, I am moved to ask exactly whose side you are on? I am feeling a little betrayed to be honest. The Shah however, having read your comment, is roaring with unjustified laughter....


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