Tuesday, 4 December 2012

The less said the better


Only 24 hours after the announcement of the Royal pregnancy and I have already reached overload.  I guess we could all have predicted the hysteria that would accompany such a reveal – The Sun's ever-punning headline writers have outdone themselves this morning – and the world’s press is camped outside the King Edward VII Hospital for Officers (to give it its full title) in London’s Marylebone.  You would think (hope) that in the wake of the recent debacle over phone hacking by the UK press and it being demonstrated to be a bunch of sharks, rotters and scum-sucking bottom feeders, it might have collectively decided that the less said the better.  But no.


You have to feel for Kate.  Not only is she feeling like crap as most do in their first trimester, she is having to contend with the incessant, uncontrollable vomiting that is hyperemesis gravidarum and do the whole thing in the public eye.  So while she is talking to God on the great white telephone, the rest of the world is obsessing over whether, if it is a girl, will they call it Elizabeth or GOD FORBID – DIANA!!  Actually, what a hoot if it did turn out to be a girl and they do call her Diana and she takes after Uncle Harry and shags her way round the world, getting herself photographed naked on a throne or two whilst puffing on some suspiciously home-made looking cigarettes….  But please God, don’t tell me we are now in for 9 whole feckin’ months of Kate ‘n Wills baby fever.  Let it be twins, I beg you.  Then at least she’s had an heir and a spare and can safely relax and none of us has to go through the whole horrible experience twice.

So all of this and Kate finds herself in the Royal Family’s hospital of choice when I am damn sure she would rather be ensconced in some swanky private clinic.  Not that King Ed VII is a hole in the ground – far from it – and I should know because I worked there for a spell during my nursing days.  I expect it may have been done up by now, but the skanky nets, still at the windows, tell another story.  There was nothing massively wrong with it – it was a good, safe place with decent nursing care but it was a bit, well, bare.  In fact, probably exactly the sort of cell-like environment enjoyed by the Royals at Balmoral or any of their other draughty castles.  I have memories of few pictures on the walls, no carpet – brown lino instead – and everything being a bit utilitarian. I expect the Windsors feel right at home there.

Mind you, that didn’t seem to stop the great and the good from queuing up to be admitted.  During my time, I looked after the grandfather of a famous journalist, a film director and the odd model or two (usually having their wisdom teeth out to enhance their gaunt faces) amongst others.  Princess Margaret was admitted while I was there, but not on my floor.  I heard via the grapevine that she was very nice but quite demanding.  Didn’t like the hospital food and kept sending out for chopped liver sandwiches.  Bleurgh!

Princess Michael of Kent was also admitted whilst I was there.  She was on my floor.  And the less said about her, the better! 

22 comments:

  1. I suspect we will have to give in to the next 9 months being royal pregnancy related.....I'm not a monarchist and although I don't wish them harm I do get a bit fed up of all this hoopla.

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    1. I think you're right Libby - we will have 9 months of it and we will both be thoroughly fed up by the end!

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  2. Heard enough about it already, please not another 9 months of boy/girl name debates - and not long after it arrives the papers will be full of "is there another on the way"!!

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    1. Jay I think the papers operate on a "if there's no news, we'll just make it up" basis!

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  3. Poor Kate indeed. I suppose she got used to the horrors of The Sun and Co when it was all about will she or won't she get married, and her pregnancy is fair game in this logical continuation of tabloid hype.

    I'd stay well out of sight until the birth...

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    1. I guess she knew what she was taking on when she married William but I still feel quite sorry for her. Hopefully she will have the opportunity to stay below the parapet for the next 7 months or so.

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  4. What did you think about the hospital staff believing the two Aussie pranksters yesterday? I couldn't believe the nurse gave out the info on the phone to a pretend Queen and Prince Charles.

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  5. I know...as it turns out, it's all had a very sad ending.

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    1. Absolutely tragic. When I heard the news yesterday I was stunned. A silly prank going terribly wrong.

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    2. Agree completely - a very puerile prank but one with an outcome that was impossible to foresee. Let's hope lessons are learned....

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  6. Indeed a sad ending, but I wanted to comment on the media's runnning commentary. I'm sure the palace felt obliged to announce that Kate is preganant, if only to stop the speculation that a stay in hospital would cause, but does no one thnk about the fact that most of us tell almost nobody this early? I have my fingers crossed for Kate - and William - that they will have a happy result and a bit of privacy. Please?

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    1. I feel sorry for her. Even in the days when I looked after Princess Michael there, we had people trying to get through on the phone and there was press interest but nothing on the scale we are currently seeing...

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  7. Yes, I've also reached saturation point. I'm not looking forward to the next 9 months coverage, and then when the baby is born it'll all go into overdrive. Arggghhh!

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    1. With any luck, Kate will be allowed to lie low and no news will turn out to be good news!

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    1. Yup - agree! Don't envy her one bit...

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  9. I just heard about this last night - incredibly sad about that nurse, really is. I'm trying to think of where that hospital is. I gave birth to my three in St Mary's, Marylebone which actually was pretty basic, no nappies and they really wanted you to leave after a night or preferably after the birth. Toughened me up though. You were a nurse? Good on you - I feel queesy even buying band aids.

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    1. Funnily enough, I've grown more queasy as I've got older! I was a Theatre nurse when I first qualified and thoroughly enjoyed all the blood and gore....seems a world away now!

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    2. Funnily enough I'm OK about gutting fish, but hearing about childbirth or other's operations, that I can't do. I do find most are willing to share though and men also love to tell everyone about their vascectomys and where they went wrong....

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    3. OMG! You're so right about men wanting to share their gross Vasectomy stories! I remember going to a sports dinner with the Shah, many years ago when I was heavily pregnant with our son. Some bloke who I'd never set eyes on in my life decided that, being pregnant, I would obviously want to talk about all things reproductive and regaled me with all the gory details (and I mean ALL) for the entire evening. 100% inappropriate and completely put me off my food! :-(

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  10. considering everything that's happened since lets hope the press quieten down at least for awhile..... as someone who can't cope with the sight of blood I'm always so thankful to nurses, our daily heroes.....

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    1. Sometimes, I look back on my nursing days and wonder how on earth I ever coped with some of the traumas I witnessed. I think the insouciance of youth probably had a lot to do with it.

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Oh go on - say something for God's sake...