Sunday, 17 June 2012

Homeland

Those of you who have watched the very excellent Homeland starring the eye candy that is Damian Lewis (never thought I would say that a ginger man is attractive, but there is just something about him....) will appreciate that the US is extremely hot on homeland security and rightly so, given their experiences at the hands of Al Qaeda.  However, it's arguable that they might be overdoing it.  Just a teeny tiny bit. Just occasionally.


The Shah has a friend with whom he plays footie every week. (Don't start me on footie - every feckin' night on TV, feckin' Euro feckin' 2012). Let's call this friend Doug.  Because that's his name.  


Now Doug has occasion to travel to Las Vegas every year for a business convention.  This year he travelled with a colleague.  A fair haired, blue-eyed colleague.  (It's relevant, I promise). Let's call him Mike Jones (because I haven't a clue what his name really is).  They board their flight and all is uneventful until they land in Nevada.  Doug sashays through immigration, no problem.  Mike is stopped by an unsmiling official. 


"You Mike Jones?" he is asked
"Yeah, sure" he agrees.
"We've been waiting for you.  Come this way."


Puzzled, he is led off.  Several hours later, he has been divested of his clothes and given a Government-issue boiler suit to wear.  He has had his passport, his luggage and his mobile phone removed.  He has experienced a full body search.  He has been given no information or explanation as to why he has been detained, except that he has been relentlessly questioned about his supposed terrorist activities (none).  He is, to put it mildly, bemused.


After several hours of this shenanigans, one of the officious officials reappears, with Mike's passport in his hand.  He opens it, looks at the photo and looks at Mike for several, long minutes.  Eventually, he comes out with the killer question.


"Hey, you ever been black?"


Oh yes.  The Mike Jones they were after was of African origin but their hair-trigger reaction had led them to detain an Anglo Saxon and not notice.


We're off to the States later this year.  We'll be holding our breath as we go through immigration....

10 comments:

  1. Oooops.........officials have to do their job..but officials who act like this are just scary...good luck for your trip!

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    1. thanks Libby - I just hope we don't meet the same guy!

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  2. OMG poor man! What a classic "You ever been black?"!!! LOL

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    1. I know - it beggars belief doesn't it?!

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  3. What a story...and such a scary one! Now if Mike Jones had been ginger, I could have understood ;-)

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  4. Ahem Trish - I realise you have no idea what I look like, but ginger hair might play a part.....lol

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    1. Ah...but I can't imagine you look like Damien Lewis?!! (which is what I was getting at) :-)))

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    2. Lawks Trish, I hope not! No - somewhat blonder (or should I say faded red!) my son turned 20 this week and I have been threatening to post a picture of him and the celebrations. I would include myself if I could get him to pose with me - some chance!

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  5. That is the most incredible story ever - and I've heard some doozers. The US is so xenophobic and these "officials" are paid $9 an hour and mostly have HS educations. They did a strip search of my friend for having tweezers and delayed her for hours - when she got on the plane she sat next to a woman with honking great pointy knitting needles

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    1. I know - it beggars belief, doesn't it? My son got through with a pair of scissors and a compass (the pointy maths variety) as, for some unknown reason, he'd brought his school pencil case with him!

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Oh go on - say something for God's sake...