ACT ONE
There is a cry from the kitchen. It is a child. Well I say 'child'. What I actually mean is 'Seventeen Year Old Daughter Without Shrinking Violet Tendencies'
'IT'S NOT FAIR!' cries the voice.
Luckily, I am well used to such shenanigans and drama queenery and just roll my eyes and sigh a bit. This, after all, is the child who was captured on video (Video! How quaint) at the age of 3, hanging on to my leg for dear life, and beating off her brother with her spare fist whilst roaring 'MY Mummy, not YOUR Mummy!' In other words, she can take care of herself. However, this is clearly something grave and serious and highly significant. I compose myself and rearrange my features into a mask of gentle concern (ie I stop rolling my eyes).
17YoD approaches, bearing laptop.
Me: What is it, my angel?
17YoD: Mum! Like, seriously? Like WTF?
Me: Er, language Timothy...
17YoD: Mum! You've put a picture of HIM (waves arm in general direction of brother) on your blog!
Me: Erm, yes? (desperately trying and failing to read the situation and suss out exactly what it is that I have done so wrong).
Enter Son, stage left, who has been earwigging.
Son: That's because I'm the favourite and she loves me the most.
17YoD: (dusts self down after inconclusive punch up with sibling): I want MY picture on your blog!
Me: Oh, er, right - that's no problem. We'll take one of you with the car tomorrow to celebrate you passing your test - I did mention that, remember?(desperate attempt to regain brownie points which fails thanks to re-entrance of Son).
Son: Yeah but Mum forgot to mention that you're a shit driver and you stall every five minutes and I'm the best.
ACT THREE
Okay - photo taken - peace restored. Here she is in all her glory. Her friend Sophia was in the back seat, desperately trying but failing to get her face in the picture too. No doubt I'll have to do a whole other post about her. I should be flattered really.
There is a cry from the kitchen. It is a child. Well I say 'child'. What I actually mean is 'Seventeen Year Old Daughter Without Shrinking Violet Tendencies'
'IT'S NOT FAIR!' cries the voice.
Luckily, I am well used to such shenanigans and drama queenery and just roll my eyes and sigh a bit. This, after all, is the child who was captured on video (Video! How quaint) at the age of 3, hanging on to my leg for dear life, and beating off her brother with her spare fist whilst roaring 'MY Mummy, not YOUR Mummy!' In other words, she can take care of herself. However, this is clearly something grave and serious and highly significant. I compose myself and rearrange my features into a mask of gentle concern (ie I stop rolling my eyes).
17YoD approaches, bearing laptop.
Me: What is it, my angel?
17YoD: Mum! Like, seriously? Like WTF?
Me: Er, language Timothy...
17YoD: Mum! You've put a picture of HIM (waves arm in general direction of brother) on your blog!
Me: Erm, yes? (desperately trying and failing to read the situation and suss out exactly what it is that I have done so wrong).
Enter Son, stage left, who has been earwigging.
Son: That's because I'm the favourite and she loves me the most.
INTERLUDE 1
(to allow for fisticuffs)
ACT TWO
Me: Oh, er, right - that's no problem. We'll take one of you with the car tomorrow to celebrate you passing your test - I did mention that, remember?(desperate attempt to regain brownie points which fails thanks to re-entrance of Son).
Son: Yeah but Mum forgot to mention that you're a shit driver and you stall every five minutes and I'm the best.
INTERLUDE 2
(to allow for further fisticuffs, a side order of hair pulling and unholy screeching)
ACT THREE
Okay - photo taken - peace restored. Here she is in all her glory. Her friend Sophia was in the back seat, desperately trying but failing to get her face in the picture too. No doubt I'll have to do a whole other post about her. I should be flattered really.
 |
| Daughter in car. Sorry about the phallic handbrake... |
Is it too late for parenting classes?
ReplyDeleteAhhh.....kids eh? so cute......at any age! She is lovely...and I hadn't noticed the handbrake until you pointed it out!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThank you Libby - she is lovely but she is also a handful!
DeleteOh my gosh - she is so beautiful! And you should be totally flattered, My son the High School is always running sideways to escape being in pics for my blog...
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteActually, I was surprised at their new-found willingness to be pictured...not quite sure what changed as they've avoided it like the plague up until now. And thank you for your kind words about her!
DeleteWhat a lovely young woman. And even if she is a handful now, better that than a shrinking violet with no personality. :)
ReplyDeleteDeep down I know you're right, Sarah. It's just that I would have like ONE of them to be compliant and easy!!
ReplyDelete