Thursday, 10 July 2014

Tattoo you

Funny things, tattoos.  I'm not too keen as, what looks sharp and pert on a 22 year old, looks blurry and saggy once that 22 year old has moved on a few decades.  And how many people have spent £££ getting them lasered off having decided that "Gary and Lauren foreva" was a really bad idea once Lauren had dumped Gary 3 weeks later?

That said, I do find them quite fascinating.  I'm often tempted to ask people exactly why they chose the design they have had indelibly inked onto their skin and - often more pertinent - why they chose the location...

Take, for example, the Tramp Stamp.  If you don't know what that is, lookee here.  They range from the fairly innocuous...

Through the quirky: 
To the tasteless:
Landing up at the frankly disgusting:
I'm not sure who coined the term 'Tramp Stamp' or why they should be viewed as the mark of a tramp. Anyone help out with that?  Interestingly, if you look up the term on Urban Dictionary, it offers the following alternatives:-
tattoo slut whore tramp ass antlers skank stamp ass ink lower back tattoo tatoo tat ho hoe trampstamp body art bullseye butt tramp stamps back

Tattoos are, of course, much loved by celebrities, including our own Cheryl Cole who spent the cost of a small car on having her arse covered in roses. And let us not forget David Beckham who has practically made himself into a walking art gallery:
I would...

I know I said I didn't like tattoos, but there's always one exception to the rule...

Occasionally, I have been known to take a sneaky photo of a tattoo that really puzzles me.  I did that recently whilst standing, bored, on London's overcrowded Euston Station, waiting for a train.  This guy was in front of me and I really, really wanted to tap him on the shoulder and say "excuse me. What exactly made you wake up one morning and think 'I know, today I'll get a galleon tattooed on the back of my left leg'?"
A colleague tells a great story of when he was in the British Army, stationed in Hong Kong for a while.  He and a mate decided to get tattoos when drunk one night.  So they stagger off to the local Chinese tattoo parlour. Colleague opted for a pair of angel's wings.  His mate, Graham, asked for his name in Chinese characters.

Some months later, they were back in Blighty, stationed up north somewhere and badly wanted some chips* one night.  Off they go to the Chinese Chippy. The lady behind the counter looks at Graham's tattoo and smirks.
"Hey!" she says, pointing to the Chinese characters on his arm, "what that say?"
"It's my name," said Graham proudly.  "It says Graham."
"Ohhhhh," replied the lady.  "That no say Graham!"

*French fries (for my overseas readers)