Monday, 24 February 2014

Explicit content - 400 Fannies....

So where was I?  Suddenly (and much to my horror) I have realised that it's over a month since I managed to write anything on my poor, dessicated blog. Over the past few weeks life has been (for no particular reason) like an explosion in a WTF factory (and once again I tip my hat to Auntie Gwen for the loan of her fine rhetoric).  Work has been ridiculously busy, the Shah and I have been like ships in the night and the highlight of my evenings has generally been falling asleep at about 9pm.  Yay me and my thrilling existence.

So I was blundering about, vaguely thinking up things to write about when the ideal topic fell into my lap. So to speak.  Ahem.  I happened to visit a great friend who is always good for a laugh.  We met at ante natal classes and our kids grew up together, so we've developed the sort of shorthand you only have with friends you've known for over 20 years (yikes!) This time, the conversation turned to the presents she had been given for her recent birthday.  

Before I go any further, I should point out that my mate is a Sexual Health Educator and does a sterling job going into many local schools and running their sex ed programmes for them.  So it's safe to say that there is nothing she don't know about every nook and cranny of the human body and no question that she ain't been asked in one of the anonymous question boxes she invites kids to use in her lessons.

So I admired the personalised iPhone case with a picture of her dog on it but then she suddenly jumped up and said "I almost forgot to show you this!" With that, she delved into an Amazon box and produced a glossy, grey book entitled....) are you sitting comfortably? (I wish I hadn't said that).....


No, I'm not joking and, just to prove I'm not joking, here's a photo of it.

The premise of this (extremely strange) book is that an artist invited 400 women of all shapes, sizes and persuasions to come along and have their bits cast in plaster.  He made the results into an exhibition.  If you feel like taking a look, the link is here.  As the website claims, "it's not vulgar, it's vulva!"

Hmmm, no shit, Sherlock.

I had a quick flick through and, let me tell you reader, there were some sights to behold.  Although I am not an ardent student of the female pudenda, I can say that there are things in that book that look as though they belong in a Ridley Scott film.  Alien, probably.  Others that resemble those fancy mushrooms you find in high-end supermarkets - all strange gills and weird contours.  And as for the piercings.....they brought tears to the eyes.

Flaps away, girls!

Some of them made me wish I hadn't eaten quite so recently.  Others made me wince in wonder when I saw just how many piercings the female anatomy can accommodate.  Don't these people clank when they walk?  If not, why not?  How do they get through airports without setting off all the alarms?

These and sooooo many more questions.

Visit the website - have a browse.  I dare you...