So here I am, lying on my sickbed, dying of the cold from hell whilst wheezing attractively into one of Kleenex's finest and thinking about my blog with no great love. "Bloody blog. Needs more attention than your average newborn. Got no inspiration. Hack, sniff. Wish I'd never given birth to the sodding thing..." when up pops Sarah Hague with an offer of a meme.
Now there is the distinct possibility that Sarah has a Machiavelllian streak in her and is playing on my conscience because I realise I still owe her a meme on the theme of 'firsts' (I haven't forgotten - I'm hunting for a particularly apt photo to go with it...) but I feel sufficiently guilty to give this one a go. Buckle your seat belts...
Describe motherhood in three words:- Let's go for joy, expense and exhaustion.
How does your experience differ from your mother's? In a word, convenience. My mother had no pre-prepared baby food, no freezer, no disposable nappies. When I had my son she asked me if I would be using traditional Terry nappies. I felt forced to inform her that the sight of her scraping the contents of my brother's nappies down the loo had scarred me for life. Why would I want to do that when the God of Pampers had been sent to answer my prayers?
What is the hardest thing about being a mother? Very easy - the lack of sleep. Having babies has ruined my Circadian rhythms and I never seem to have regained a normal sleep pattern. When they were tiny, I was awake, fretting, with them in my arms. Now they are grown, I'm awake, fretting, with them in the King's Arms and wondering what state they will come home in.
How has motherhood changed you? See above. And below.
What do you hope for your children? Health, happiness and that they make a good choice of care home for me.
What do you fear for your children? That they can't afford to pay my care home fees. I hope you're reading this, kids. I'm packing my suitcase and I'm moving in. Huzzah!
What makes it all worthwhile? Once all the ranting and the threats are done, e.g. "Just wash the sodding cat bowls, or your allowance stops NOW!" it's the little things that count. On day one of the cold from hell when I was languishing at home, son popped out to get me a paper and daughter came home with this....
(my fave - you can keep your 70% cacao stuff - this is the biz).
The Shah meanwhile, sent a loving, caring text. It read
"Home late, team mtg + drinks. wots for dinna?"
Aah bless - all's right with the world.
Now there is the distinct possibility that Sarah has a Machiavelllian streak in her and is playing on my conscience because I realise I still owe her a meme on the theme of 'firsts' (I haven't forgotten - I'm hunting for a particularly apt photo to go with it...) but I feel sufficiently guilty to give this one a go. Buckle your seat belts...
Describe motherhood in three words:- Let's go for joy, expense and exhaustion.
How does your experience differ from your mother's? In a word, convenience. My mother had no pre-prepared baby food, no freezer, no disposable nappies. When I had my son she asked me if I would be using traditional Terry nappies. I felt forced to inform her that the sight of her scraping the contents of my brother's nappies down the loo had scarred me for life. Why would I want to do that when the God of Pampers had been sent to answer my prayers?
What is the hardest thing about being a mother? Very easy - the lack of sleep. Having babies has ruined my Circadian rhythms and I never seem to have regained a normal sleep pattern. When they were tiny, I was awake, fretting, with them in my arms. Now they are grown, I'm awake, fretting, with them in the King's Arms and wondering what state they will come home in.
How has motherhood changed you? See above. And below.
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| 20 years later... |
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| CQ pre-children |
Nuff said.
What do you hope for your children? Health, happiness and that they make a good choice of care home for me.
What do you fear for your children? That they can't afford to pay my care home fees. I hope you're reading this, kids. I'm packing my suitcase and I'm moving in. Huzzah!
What makes it all worthwhile? Once all the ranting and the threats are done, e.g. "Just wash the sodding cat bowls, or your allowance stops NOW!" it's the little things that count. On day one of the cold from hell when I was languishing at home, son popped out to get me a paper and daughter came home with this....
The Shah meanwhile, sent a loving, caring text. It read
"Home late, team mtg + drinks. wots for dinna?"
Aah bless - all's right with the world.
Landsakes, this had me spluttering into my latte! Aaatractive! Expense and exhaustion sums it up perf. I am in the process of picking my own care home as we speak so they are fully appraised of my requirements. My sister was one of the thousands of Kiwis who wrote in to Cadbury about them changing the bar sizes (too small) Cadbury has a lot of women's happiness at stake.
ReplyDeleteI swear inwill be buried with a bar of Fruit & Nut to sustain me on the journey! Mind you, I intend to soak the kids by spending a good few years in a care home first!
DeleteHAHA! I knew I could count on you for a laugh, even stricken as you are (hope you get better soon, btw).
ReplyDeleteI'd forgotten the expense bit but I've got the real horrors of that to come when they go to university. Compared to that, the expense of kids is like pissing in the wind. I can see myself paying for them until I die...
You're so lucky to have the Shah, what a caring hub.
Tell me all about the expense of Uni - I've got one there and one waiting in the wings :-( thanks for the good wishes - slowly recovering - back to work tomorrow, there's only so much daytime tv I can stand!
DeleteThis is fantastic - really made me laugh this morning. Am recovering from weeks of cold/cough/general malaise so know how you feel.
ReplyDeleteLove the arms to King's Arms sentence - fab bit of writing. And I get texts like that from my husband, who still hasn't mastered the art anyway and usually says he'll be 'good' soon: predictive texting getting a word wrong but surprisingly right.
Thank you Trish. It's good to know it's not just the Shah who can't do texting properly!
DeleteLaughing while looking enviously at the chocolate! Get well soon.
ReplyDeleteDo you know - the daughter, having generously bought the chocolate, then complained that I'd eaten it all....I ask you!
DeleteFunny post missus....and feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you Libby. I seem to be on the mend. As the cold has waned, so has the sympathy :-(
ReplyDeleteI've said it before, but you do make me laugh xx
ReplyDeleteThanks NSM! I am hopeless at doing the serious stuff - I just come over all ranty and shouty so I stick to what I (hope) I am good at - light hearted and as many laughs as possible! xx
DeleteTsk! This talk of care homes is defeatist!
ReplyDeleteYour kids need to know that you'll be moving in with them.
And will need an en-suite and your own day room and room service.
And you'll need a taxi service, and caterers, and high speed broadband, and two holidays a year - one of which is a cruise.
Macy, you speak my language!
ReplyDelete